Morning Monster

Why can’t my son just get up in the morning like a normal my-life-is-full-of-rainbows-and-unicorns-and-cotton-candy person?

Why must he instead wake up like a rabie-infected-lion-on-the-prowl-for-food-and-you-look-like-a-big-juicy-Tbone-steak??

When I try to wake him up you would think he was some angry at the world punk teenager.  He screams at me.  Tells me no. Thrashes around in his bed (I’m just waiting for his head to turn backwards and green vomit to come spewing out). When he does finally rise from the dead he stomps around the house yelling about how he’s too tired and I suck because I’m making him go to school.  I think I would have better chances spending my mornings with a flesh eating zombie, for real.

Every morning my sweet boy is transformed into this vicious monster sent to piss me off to start my day. Ya know,  I’d really like to know who sends him so I can take him out at the knees with a baseball bat.

It’s a fight every day.  Wait, no, no its not.  Only on the weekdays.  On the weekends he gets his ass up at the crack of dawn (probably because he’s so used to it) and goes and plays video games or watches TV.  No pissing and moaning then.

Seriously, he needs an exorcism every morning.

Oh yeah, and its only going to get much worse- he’s only 10.