Good Morning Mommy

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Every morning is pretty much the same. My alarm goes off every morning and after hitting snooze about 3 or 4 times, I groggily roll out of bed. Doesn’t matter what time it is, or what day it is.

First thing I need to do is pee. Yup, to be perfectly blunt my poor pea-sized bladder is usually bursting at the seams.

Have you ever noticed that the closer you get to the bathroom, the worse you have to go? Well, with each step the urge gets stronger and stronger.

By the time I reach the bathroom i’m gripping the door frame with such intensity.

I nearly collapse catching myself on the sink.

White knuckles.  Almost there.

Two more steps and I can sit and be relieved of all this pressure.

One….

Two….    What the Fuck??!!  Jesus Christ!!!

A giant giant turd is sitting in my toilet.  I gag. Wait, i think i just threw up in my mouth.

Is this some kind of joke? Am I back in college hanging at a frat house?

Nope, no.

This is the oblivious act of my almost eight year old. I scream for him to come flush the shit…oh yes i said shit, down the toilet.

“Oops, I forgot.”

Forgot?? Forgot?  How do you forget to flush the damn toilet? You were sitting there doing your business and just decided to get up and leave?
Ok, so you think that this is where this story would end…..but ohhh no its not.

Not only is the surprise still floating around in my toilet but I notice something is missing. What could be missing? I’ll let you think for a second about what could possibly be missing from the toilet at this point.

Times up.

Toilet paper. There is NO toilet paper in the toilet. This would generally leave only one explanation. Somebody “forgot” to wipe their ass.
HA! Wrong.

Oh he wiped his ass all right…and threw the shit covered tp in my trash!! The trash bin right next to the toilet. Excuse me while I gag again while re-visualizing that moment.

What is it with boys and not flushing?? Am I the only one with this problem? So this is what my life has come down to, huh.

I’m a single mom to one little boy who wont flush his own shit!

About Blondie

Nicole (aka Blondie) is a single mom to one little boy. Follow her journey as she shares her opinions on everything from products to movies to life in the dating scene, work, and motherhood while trying to find the humor in it all.

Comments

  1. Brittany says:

    My four year old throws her toilet paper in the trash next to the toilet too! I don’t freakin’ get it!!! And none of my kids flush. EVER. And they always say…”Oops I forgot”. WHAT THE HELL!!!!!

  2. Gena Morris says:

    LMAO I can so relate! It is not just a boy thing I assure you!

  3. LISA says:

    Oh sweetie you are not alone. With my boys I’m always telling them to flush the toilet and they are 10 and 12! So i guess it doesn’t get any better. My son has done the tp thing to tossing it in the trash! Gross

    I can relate with having to run to the bathroom in the morning, after having 6 babies my bladder is like a 70 year old.
    Hope you have a great day !

  4. Jenn says:

    Um, Yea. I share you plight! My 7 year old doesnt flush either. ….

  5. I hate to say this, but I am seriously LMAO over here! :lol: Tucker did that to me yesterday and I was like WTF?? Put the damn seat down. Wait. FLUSH! Wait.. Did you just touch my face after you wiped your butt? GROSS! LOL!

  6. LMFAO!!!!! Having 2 boys I can SO RELATE!!!!!!

  7. Stefanie says:

    LMAO My oldest never flushes because she’s always afriad it will over flow on her b/c it has over flowed all of *1* times and it has scared her for life! lol

  8. Rachel says:

    Oh, no is this what I have to look forward to with my sweet little boy???

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