This post may cause a little controversy but it’s my blog and this is just how I feel.
I am a single mother.
I have been a single mother pretty much since i was pregnant. Hunters father and I were off and on for years…more off…and i always felt like the single mom even when we were together. I’m not going to get into details, just take my word for it.
With that being said, being a single mother does not define who i am.
Its simply part of what i do.
Nothing irks me more than when single mothers try to use it to their advantage and have people feel sorry for them. You will never hear me use it as an excuse for anything. In fact, i barely ever mention it. I hate when i tell people my story and they say, “Oh that must be so hard for you.” Yeah, sure it is, but parenting is hard for everyone. I don’t sit here and think, “Oh poor me, my life is so hard,” and throw myself a pity party. Who has time for that?
I don’t find it to be all that difficult…sure it sucks sometimes when you would like to pass the kid off to your hubby but can’t. Maybe its just because it’s been this way since the beginning and i’m used to it. I actually really enjoy not having to “share” him on weekends and i like being the only decision maker. What mama says, goes!
I give single parents all the credit in the world but i just don’t like it when people use it as an excuse. I heard a woman say at the school yard recently, “Oh well, i’m a single mom, and his/her father is hardly ever around. That’s why they behave so bad.” I just wanted to shake her!
Hello!! I’m in the same boat only my sons father hasn’t seen him in 3 years and my son doesn’t act like that.
Why doesn’t he act like that? Because there is no way in hell i would allow that and then make excuses for it!! Sure some kids have a hard time with divorces or separations however, she wasn’t even disciplining him or anything for his un-excusable behavior. So of course he’s gonna act like that….you let him.
I guess i just hate when people do things like that because it makes us (single moms) look weak. And we are not! Single parents are exceptionally strong people…we have to be. You learn to pick up the pieces, stay strong, and move on. Trust me, in the end you’ll be a better parent for it.
About Blondie
Hi! Welcome to my blog!
You are correct it is the parenting, not the number of parents you have. People have to stop playing victim!
We have a LOT in common. Wanna go beat up Ann Coulter with me?
Amen! I am not a single mom. I don’t feel sorry for single moms. I simply give single moms major props. Major props! Strength? Undeniable strength! I commend you. And I’m with koopermom – let’s go kick some Coulter a**!
You may have to hold me back!! Did you see her interview with Matt Lauer?? She makes me so mad!
Girl, you took the words right out of my mouth! I soooo know exactly what you’re talking about. I *hate* when people use it as an excuse. It’s not an excuse, it’s a way of life. You either deal with it, or you don’t. Yes, being a single mom is VERY hard most days, but being a mom in a 2 parent household is hard too! I’m not exactly thrilled with being a single parent right now, but I do what I have to do…
I had a single mom here at the daycare who was constantly late on payment. She’s single and taking care of a little girl + all her other payments and stuff. I would get frustrated because I felt like she thought it was ok to be late…like I didn’t need the money or something. I had another single mom who was never late and had the same kinds of bills to pay. That’s when I realized that the situation is what you make of it…
That being said…I still feel bad that single moms don’t have some extra hands (or ears) around. It is nice to shift responsibilities once and awhile.
*big dolphin claps*
I am a single mom, but I rarely mention it on my blog…people are usually surprised to find out. It doesn’t need to be an excuse. It’s just a part of the equation. You can have 4 parents in the mix and not have 1/4 the quality parenting that a good mom can give.
Being a single mom is hard.
Being a parent is hard.
Being single is not an excuse for not parenting. I know plenty of two adult families that suck as parents too.